We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
