I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
