you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
too bad you live with your parents still
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
