He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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