Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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