dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
