you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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