What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
