I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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