my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
