btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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