My hand turned me down
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Still dying that you shit outside
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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