Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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