Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
