Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
