is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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