I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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