I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'm always down for nudity.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
