Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
