Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Terrible idea I love it
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
