Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
