porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
