so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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