What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
