so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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