Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
