walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
