I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
