Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
