Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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