also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
