you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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