He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She's like a pop up book from hell.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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