Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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