I am puke
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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