The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
