finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
