your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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