My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
