Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
