JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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