I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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