Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
