we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
