We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
