I wanna bring you to show and tell
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
