i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
