youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
