His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Its about making memories worth repressing
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
