Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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